a month feels so long,
when i am talking to you, forever feels like no time at all.
and now that five forevers end, i get defensive and
jealous when your name is spoken by one of my friends.
tell me what you thought of me,
in the light of the tv, lying on the basement floor unconsciously breathing.
out in the thick winter air, afraid of going anywhere,
slowly swaying on cold swings with snowflakes in our hair.
i remember how we were excited for the warm weather,
now i lie alone outside and long for last winter;
the smell of a brief timid hug, all the words that weren't enough,
walking home alone made me feel like i was in love.
vulnerable intimacy, hesitant transparency,
opening up to someone you thought would stay the same.
frigid sociopathy, all the things you've done to me.
only someone who gives you all can take it away.